AFAIK it all boils down to the fact that during embryonal development our cells, which at that point were just a blob of undifferentiated autonomous chemical machines, somehow managed to unanimously agree upon the cardinal directions (up-down, left-right, front-back) for future development - and thanks to this, we don’t have toes growing out of our ears.
I can’t comment on anyone with toes out of their ears, but I’ve seen a lot people with their butt where their face is. Or at least it would appear so, as a lot of shit seems to come out of the hole in their face.
All jokes aside, nice shower thought though!