I dare you to put a price on when a cat is curled up in your lap and does that sleepy yawning stretch where they hook your pinky finger in their beans and just hold it there.

Not only is that worth every penny I have, I’ll sit motionless until my legs lose all circulation and become gangrenous to avoid disturbing the cat after they do that deep sigh where they snuggle down. Totally worth it.

My dog’s puppyhood was stolen from him. A year spent either on the street or in an overcrowded shelter where he sat for a month and ended up on the euthanasia list. If we failed him that hard then he’s entitled to unlimited joy rations.

My dog refuses to work for free. Sit, shake, roll over, she knows all of them - but if you don’t have a treat she won’t even pay attention to you.

if i’ve learned anything from growing up with spoiled pets is that pets should be illegal