Speaking only for myself, I don’t think I’ve ever intended “fuck you” to mean “I am literally going to fuck you violently with my penis.” More like, “I strongly disapprove of your actions and perhaps even your character (but not enough to rape you, of course, that should go without saying).”
what did you think “fuck you” actually meant
I’m not a native speaker but always took it as short form for “go fuck yourself”, not “I will fuck you”.
Well, even if its “go fuck yourself”, we don’t mean in a gentle and loving way.
Speaking only for myself, I don’t think I’ve ever intended “fuck you” to mean “I am literally going to fuck you violently with my penis.” More like, “I strongly disapprove of your actions and perhaps even your character (but not enough to rape you, of course, that should go without saying).”