I’ve applied for jobs a few times and this has always been a problem. Now that I’ve been out of college for a while it’s even more of a problem. I don’t have anyone from college that would even remember me. I can’t use my current coworkers because I don’t want my current employer to know I’m leaving until I have a new job lined up. I don’t keep in touch with old coworkers. I don’t do anything outside of work as far as volunteering or anything. I know I’m not supposed to use friends or family. Who is even left after that? The only people I have the contact info for are friends, family, and my current boss.
Use your friends and family. Tell them you’re doing so and instruct them to lie for you.
Seconded. Do what you can and forget what you’re “supposed” to do. If you only have friends and family at hand, then pick one you trust and tell them. Wishing you the best of luck, OP :)
I guess that’ll have to do. It just feels bad that I have to start off what I’m hoping to be a good job by lieing. Luckilly my mom remaried so most of my sibblings have different last names than me. I also have one friend who was technically my coworker at my last job. Sure we were in completely different departments but we still worked for the same company.
My buddy and I have had a long-standing agreement to be each others’ occupational references for job applications. When either of us is filling out an application that requires a reference, we give the other a head’s up e-mail that includes the dates we supposedly worked there and how to answer any specific questions that might come up. I even made a fake letterhead and have a box of fancy paper to use if one of us needs an actual letter of recommendation (that’s only ever come up once in the last 10 years).
These employers would throw your app straight into the bin if you asked them for employee references, so fuck 'em.
There are four questions you’re going to get from everyone who bothers to call (which won’t be a lot of people, tbh). “What was their hire date?”, “What was their last date of work?”, “Are they eligible for rehire?”, and “What was their final salary/pay rate?”. Make a post-it note for your reference-buddy with what you want them to tell a caller for those questions (never say “No” to “eligible to rehire”). If the caller asks anything else, the answer is “I’m sorry, our HR policy does not allow us to answer that question.”
The problem with this is if you have parents who solemnly believe honesty is best policy. My parents might lie about my issues by way of omission, to try to paint me in a good light but they sure as hell won’t lie that they are my parents.
I used people who have only seen me at my best, but aren’t relatives.
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volunteer leaders from places I love to volunteer. If I love volunteering there I don’t usually see it as a job, so I’ll always be at my enthusiastic passionate best.
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take a week’s work experience somewhere and use them as a reference (or just apply at the place you volunteered if you liked it, a week is enough to give a good impression better than any reference) - a week is usually long enough to give you a reference, but short enough that it’s still a novel experience so you don’t have time to show your worst or how quickly you burn out.
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my previous boss was great for use as a reference as he’s honest, but he has a way of drastically downplaying everyone’s bad qualities to other people (if there were no good qualities, he would’ve fired you anyway), while at the same time managing to make you feel bad for having those same qualities.
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I know it’s a bit late for that, but adding people proactively just in case I need them to vouch for me later is the #1 reason I even have a LinkedIn account.
Yes, this is good advice. It might not help now, but just as you go along in your career keep note of good references, be sure to link with them on LinkedIn while working with them, and if possible get them to write you a recommendation on LinkedIn as well.
As a former college lecturer I definitely remember my students for years, so thats still an option. I’d do whatever lecturer you knew best and then the admin department who can confirm that you were there.
So this is advice I’ve offered many co-workers and friends over the years. This advice actually came directly from my first boss.
Always try and make time to have a lunch with a former co-worker. Just one, co-worker, it’s one hour, once a month. Just have a lunch with someone, anyone from a former job. This helps in a couple of ways, you keep your network open and you keep it expanding. These people aren’t your friends, but they could turn into friendship if you wish them to be.
Prior to the pandemic, I had a list of my months, and which co-workers I would reach out to from former jobs. This has been huge for me as it has helped me land new job opportunities and it has turned some former workers into great friendships. But it’s just 12 hours a year, and 12 lunch’s a year. But it’s just enough that I’ll always have someone I can use as a reference.
I’ve now had many different jobs over the years, but I still schedule lunches with former co-workers. But I make sure to reach back out to people to set these up, it’s helped me also become more social and I normally am.
So once you’ve got this new job in the bag, do not lose touch with the old co-workers make an effort to have lunch with someone, anyone, but at least someone you wouldn’t pull your hair out after spending an hour with them.
It’s just 12 hours once a year.
edit: don’t get me wrong this isn’t an easy task my first boss had to force me to go to lunches I didn’t want to go to.
Don’t know you, but you’re a tireless worker who goes as above and beyond. You’ve always been there when needed whether it was helping me understand that new online ordering stuff with COVID or just mowing my lawn when you were younger. I would definitely love to have someone like you as an employee. Send them my way
That’s weird, it probably depends on the field you’re in, but I’ve never been asked for references and I had many interviews…
What field are you in that they’ve never asked for references? I’ve had to provide references for a range of jobs, from warehouse assembly line work to medical research
I’m in software and I’ve never been asked
Recent graduates seeking employment in their field of study should always have their department chair wright a recommendation. Having other professors write recommendations helps as well.
Unfortunately I’m not applying for a job in the field I went to college for and I never actually graduated. I went to college for comp sci because I liked programming as a hobby. About half way through college I got a gig to fix some software and I realized that if I had to do that all day I would jump off a bridge. So I went and taught myself refrigeration. Very little of what I studied in college actually applies to my new field.
Are there any charitable volunteer opportunities near you?
Why don’t you keep in touch with old coworkers that you get along with?
Look them up on LinkedIn and talk to them occasionally, not just when you need something. Just start doing that today.
Don’t try to use a lie because then you’ll have to cover it up another lie, and sooner or later you’re going to lose track.
My man
Your new employer will be looking for references who can provide information and context around how you are to work with, how you have dealt with complexity and how you show initiative.
They will ideally want to understand how you work and how you behave.You NEED someone you have worked with directly or who has managed you.
Highly suggest you find someone at your current workplace ideally someone at a more senior level to you. Or someone at same level that can vouch that you can rely on.
What is the worst case at your current place if they know you are interviewing?
Piggybacking off this, I wouldn’t just ask a direct manager whether he would vouch for you, I’d also ask for feedback on areas needing improvement too. You don’t have to go into your next job with that same blind spot. Imagine being in a job interview and when they ask you about your “weak areas” you can respond, “I talked with my previous supervisor about this exact issue!” For the last half decade I’ve made a habit of asking for corrective feedback and taking performance reviews seriously. It’s like the opposite of burning a bridge! My current and previous boss are happy to vouch for me!
What kind of employer asks for references these days? Such an inadequate and dated concept.
I work for a fairly big university and we still ask (or at least we did pre-COVID, when I handled some recruitment stuff). And it has to be, like… two references from two different positions (or classes or whatever)? Again, unless something changed.
References are hard as shit to get ahold of, too. I could pay off all my debts if I had a nickel for every time I had to get recruitment to nab us more refs.
Here In Australia many still do.
We have a very social culture, so many people still believe the best way to guage someone’s personality and work ethic is to talk to those who are familiar but not too close.
Of course the bigger the company the less likely they are to actually call those references - many just like seeing them on the page, sort of a “does he have non-famillial references? Yes, that’s a checkbox ticked ☑”
Maybe you are overestimating how big of a deal letting your current boss know that you are job searching really is. I’ve used a recruiting agency multiple times that requires references from two current supervisors. It always feels awkward making that ask, but it has never been the end of the world. If you are respectful and professional about it, they should be too. You can always find a way to downplay it or spin it if you need to.
That being said, of course there are petty and belligerent bosses out there. Just take a minute and consider whether that is truly the case for you or if this would just cause the normal level of awkwardness/friction that would be expected in this situation.
