• Sekoia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 year ago

    I’m totally cool with polyamory and its variants, but this infographic definitely paints monoamory as a lesser choice which is cringe (it also says “idealized monoamory” instead of just monoamory which I don’t get).

    Don’t judge other’s choices, doesn’t matter if their choice is polyamory or monoamory.

    • LizardKing@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      100% agree. Whoever made this “guide” was attempting to portray monoamory as a bad thing, maybe even worse than cheating.

      It reads as though the author is someone single, or someone in an unhappy polyamorous relationship with feelings of resentment towards those in monoamorous relationships.

    • Ookami38@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      I agree with not judging. I think monoamory is just labeled as “idealized” because it’s the current societal standard. Some people who don’t mesh with monogamy may not know there’s another option, and so it can be helpful to say that monogamy is only just that, idealized, and not actually necessarily better.

    • stappern@lemmy.one
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      1 year ago

      It is inferior simply because it’s the pushed default while it’s the most complicated and the type that requires most personal sacrifices. This is objective.

      • Underwaterbob@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        I don’t see how any of that is objective aside from it being the most commonly accepted, or “pushed” in your words.

        A successful two person relationship requires a significant amount of compromise and sacrifice. How does having more partners lessen that?

        • stappern@lemmy.one
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          1 year ago

          it doesnt but you dont have to worry about monogamy-only rules like dont do this and dont do that, which is exclusive to monogamy. which makes it objectively worse since you dont have to worry about that in other relationships.

          • Underwaterbob@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            it doesnt but you dont have to worry about monogamy-only rules like dont do this and dont do that, which is exclusive to monogamy. which makes it objectively worse since you dont have to worry about that in other relationships.

            All of the others - short of anarchy - also have their rules. For example, polyfidelity is nearly identical to monoamory except you now have to consider the dos and don’ts of both of your partners making it objectively more complicated than monoamory.

          • sanpedropeddler@sh.itjust.works
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            1 year ago

            That’s not a rule to get around, its called respecting your partners wishes. Its a basic common decency regardless of how many partners you have.

              • sanpedropeddler@sh.itjust.works
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                1 year ago

                It does not impact your freedoms. Its not like you literally can’t cheat, you just cant cheat and continue a relationship with them. Everyone has their own terms. Yeah, if you can’t handle not cheating, then don’t date a person that wants a monogamous relationship. It doesn’t mean its “inferior”, it just means you don’t want it. Grow up.

                • stappern@lemmy.one
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                  1 year ago

                  Grow up? Because I think relationships with less rules are superior?

                  Children can’t handle different opinions from what I know.

                  • sanpedropeddler@sh.itjust.works
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                    1 year ago

                    You are acting childish because you are claiming relationships you don’t like are automatically inferior to those you do like. I don’t care what kind of relationship you prefer, its irrelevant. Yes. Grow up.

                  • LizardKing@sh.itjust.works
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                    1 year ago

                    “Children can’t handle different opinions”

                    Oh the irony is fucking delicious.

                    You’re dead wrong about everything, sorry, thanks for playing. Grow up.

          • miaapancake@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Having had both types of relationship. This is such backwards thinking, with most poly relationships you will have to make severe sacrifices to the time spent with most of your partners, and often end up with more non romantic relationships. Breakups are more complicated. Not to mention how much more communication it requires to keep together. Calling that anything but a major compromise is just lying. I am not saying any type of relationship is more valid. But that they all come with different compromises which work better for different kinds of people. Just because it works better for you doesn’t mean it does for everyone.

      • LizardKing@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        Lmao you can’t just say “this is objective” after the most fucking subjective sentence ever written. You’re clueless.