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I find it strange you put the entire onus of this issue on the male person proposing when there’s a lot of societal expectation to do these sort of gestures. I’ve been married to my wife for almost 10 years, and I didn’t do a public proposal, but I knew that’s what she wanted. Some people do want the big, public gesture, including the people you believe have diminished autonomy. It’s an unpopular opinion to say these people should be barred from marriage because the opinion lacks awareness of cultural nuances driving people to do public proposals—its unpopular for good reason; it’s myopic.
Game designer.
I’m a Director of Game Design now.