10 hour shift, away for 13 hours. That first sip of IPA is one of the most relaxing experiences ever. Only topped when I rip a bowl and take a nice hot lavender bubble bath. Life is fucking miserable and I hate it, but I’ll get my time and I’m going to enjoy it.

Skip your mouth and just shovel it directly into your gullet

Cmon murica, the rest of the world combined is now spending more than just the US. How could this happen?

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Finally, some fresh water sashimi I won’t regret eating.

just found out catholic doesn’t mean you’re addicted to cats smh I need help

This nerd sat down and said yeah I’m gonna discover everything that gets you high

do y’all like bionicles?

At first I was like don’t tread on me, but now I’m like “tread on me daddy oWo”

On top of you there are two comforters, you are extremely cozy. End of meme.

Why is it a crime to have a femboi gobble my cock in a keitruck? This is the future your grandma was scared of.

I hope you “don’t” get eaten by a shark.

fuck the police :3

I am super lactose tolerant. I drink a gallon of whole milk a day. My body is prepared for massive mommy milkers.

…we do got to talk about rat milk tho, forking gains from sucking rat tiddies but nobodies doing it? Rats in NY are bigger than cats, you could milk the shit out of those rodent nipples.

TIL human milk has ~65 calories per 100ml and a average is 900ml produced per day. Which is only 585 calories. I would need 3-4 mommy milkers in order to sustain myself off only human milk. Which there’s cow milk to but even it is pretty weak. I need to get on the dog, rat, or rabbit milk game:

Human: 3.8% fat; 1% protein; 7% lactose

Cow: 3.7% fat; 3.4% protein; 4.8% lactose

Rat: 10.3% fat; 8.4% protein; 2.6% lactose

Dog: 12.9% fat; 7.9% protein; 3.1% lactose

Rabbit: 18.3% fat; 13.9% protein; 2.6% lactose

We’ll move to this second door to show it wasn’t a fluke. Again, we will load, preferably with a our breaching charge, but a slug or 00 buck will work. We’ll position ourselves at 45° and *boom*just like that we’re in. If you liked this shitpost and would like to see more like it don’t.

You now cum mustard