6·
7 months agogotta nuke somethin’
¯\ _ (ツ) _ /¯
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Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: July 5th, 2023
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nobody prayed hard enough, so it got altered even more
no, don’t do that
1·8 months agohe flipped the producer switch
SNAKE EYES
similar 100% true story from a green text:
kid goes out for his 21st, and grandpa tells him that the secret to never getting too drunk is drinking some olive oil before a shot, so that the alcohol never enters the bloodstream, or something.
they follow through, and shit their pants after one round; ironically, the oil drinking did technically prevent them from getting drunk.
I don’t care if it’s fake, it’s still a hilarious idea
dads everywhere agree: click those tongs and slap those bags
lol nice
I just assumed it said “it belongs in a museum”
you mean the people that were cheering on the glorious tanks during the Tiananmen square parade
don’t forget to add some stanky interest on that principal
makanoff with the goods
offshore drilling could be jammed in the background, too
I would just get NPR on, at the risk of hearing a really interesting segment of Radio Lab and having a driveway moment and sitting through the conclusion right as I get to the location.
also works with cats. and, importantly, let them approach you. if a cat thinks it was their idea to be pat, then they will love it so much more.
“Alright, it’s taken 20 minutes to initialize and warm up, let’s try a test print-”
GUTTER CLEANING IN PROGRESS
“Well that’s okay, I’m sure it’s part of routine maintena-”
SEQUENCING OFF
“No, damnit, I need to get the line running!”
…
MAKEUP LEVEL TOO LOW
“But I just changed the cartridge…”
MAKEUP LEVEL TOO LOW
crying and putting on lipstick
“Please, I have a family!”
MAKEUP LEVEL TOO HIGH
“Okay, I’ll do anything, just let me print these batch codes…”
READY TO PRINT
“Thank you, oh merciful machine, I owe you my-”
GUTTER CLEANING IN PROGRESS
9·10 months agowise words. I started just playing to my strengths a few years ago, instead of overachieving for the nebulous award of being “the best”, and my life has gotten immensely more fulfilling.
my current employer isn’t asking me to be the best in my field, just good at what I do, and that feels great. I get shit done, and don’t feel the need to constantly reinvent the wheel. or feel the stress of failure when something is over my head.
of course you don’t!