You know, believing that only leads to depression, i figure out. A depression, where nothing starts to matter and nothing could bring joy, so the only choice one can really have is… not participating in life anymore.
And it reduce parents to selfish beings and can lead to not seeing them as people (who mostly have feelings for their own kids).
To have children or not is a deeply personal choice ☺️
And also personal is the search for meaning in ones own existence. While searching we create: life, art, relationships, meaning. Memes. I think life becomes a burden, when external factors keep you from creating the meaning that you care for.
But speaking as a historian: we put a lot of presure on parents over the last decades. And the same presure on kids. It is relateable that having children or just excisting has become so… whats a fitting english word?.. not desireable?
I agree with you.
I think argueing if adhd might be over or under diagnosed makes adulds feel even more ashamed.
I also don’t like blaming self diagnosis. Women having a hard time finding professionell help, cause they never fit into stereotypical adhd behaivor. They seen as overreacting and emotional.
I think it’s kinda sad when a kid really blames their parents that it was born.
I come from a deeply traumatized and broken family. I’ve had this believe for a long time. But by blaming my parents i am just reducing myself, my value and my autonomy. And i am reducing the complexity of life, history and my parents 🤔
Don’t mind me, i am just philosophicly reflecting on my life.
Yes. I search a good figdet toy, but all i find online is either shitty or mega expensiv. There is like no way of finding these things in local stores.
18€ a month, cause in germany we have the gez gebühren to keep journalism in good quality
Thank you 🥰
When it comes to japanese food, Düsseldorf is really great. Cause i studied there i know some good Restaurants and supermarkets 😆 but i take recomondations all around nrw.
i really want to taste spicy indian food or try other asian food, that is not so common here 🤔
My best friend visited south korea a few years ago. She never liked spicy food, but said it was so good there, she now likes this stuff.
I wanna eat the real spicy food! In germany everything is watered down so n00bs can eat it🥲
That woman, queer folk and PoC want too much space in this world.
That there are no obsticals for those groups, they just made them up.
I am not activly thinking that. But everytime i wish to speak my mind i am still asking myself “should i say something? Am i qualifyed enough? Maybe i get called out for being stupid 🥲”
I… dunno.
My ex ignored me for like two weeks and had become closed of. He reinsured me, that everything was fine when i asked him. But the next time he visted me, he said that he wanted to break up, saying he made up his mind two weeks earlier. But i dunno his reason for it.
The break up was okay. I though about it myself, cause he treated me bad the whole 5 month we were together: he talked bad about my interessets and hobbys. He overstepped my bounderies. And everytime, i made him aware of that, he was like “you didn’t make that clear enough”. He made me push my bounderies.
Sadly, i allowed this kind of behaivor back than. I was used to it. During that time i did not know about adhd. I always acted weird as a woman and felt bad for not fitting in. I acted impulsive and had mood swings. I wanted someone to love me, accept me. So i excused these behaivors.
No. I did not allowed that behaivor. But he made me feel like i was crazy when i wanted to talk about how i felt.
Now i have more selfesteem, i am weird and loud and full of my ideas. I am in a beatiful relationship, i am loved and accepted as who i am. I But of course that expierence still hunts me. It still hurts.
You are right. I want to add some historical perspective as well (but sorry i am no englisch naitive):
Marriage is importaint for a society who has land and money to own. To give it to the next generation, your kind. Marriage wasn’t that of a deal until martin luther, who declared it as a holy union between two people.
Every republican tries to argue with Religion, but they don’t know where these stuff came from. They don’t care, cause if they unreavel it, they would see it’s all constructed.
All of history woman worked in all kind of jobs. There never was a big issue about that. But the industrial Revolution chanced that. Since than rich people tried to structure workplaces, tried to increase their money. While making a huge impact on societys structures. Woman became unpaid housewifes. Put into care work. City Infrastructur, healthcare is for men, so they can work more and better. So their boss can make more money.
It is scary. So scary. And frustrating. But it is importaint to deconstruct what conservatives are saying. They try to argue with Tradition or science. But we felt for it over the decades. We made fun of feminism, queer folk, vegans or PoC. Or disabelt people. We turned on each other.
Hej, there
I can understand your frustration. Right now it feels that we small people can’t do anything to do good in the world. There are greedy capitalist everywhere. It is nearly impossible to understand what damage ones desicion could make. If our desicions even could make a difference.
But the thing is, you can’t overlook everything. It’s a gouverments job to keep an eye over Corporations.
But that doesn’t mean, that you can’t do anything. You can search for Informations and make yourself aware of those topics. You can support workers and strikes. You could limit yourself on what stuff you are comsuming.
You don’t have to boycott every major company and every Product. You just could make a list about everything you really need and what you are really looking forward to. So you can balance your need for morality and fun.
You will find a way that’s suits you. Don’t worry
I agree with you 😊
Even tho i studied history, it took long to find topics like disability history, gender studies, science studies and… everything PoC are doing. Established Professionals downplayed all of these as not relevant. Not scientific enough. As a young professionell, you don’t want to ruin your reputation, so you don’t engage with that.
In my country you are told, not to drift away from society. Not to built up your own ‘reality’, cause you read… a feministic book.
These gashlight tactics had keep me from enganging with topics and communitys, which are interessting for me. I did not want to be outcasted. But now i feel more confidend.
I want to dive into the neurodiverse community, cause it is such a new perspective in dealing with ones own life. Much more empowering! Much more brave. Learning to live with stuff like high sensitivity, instead of forcing myself to overcome it. It’s changing how i fre myself.
And yeah: how people talk to each all over the world has changed. To devide us is an easy way to controll us. 10 years ago you couldn’t say that out loud (ya soundes paranoid) but since the facebook papers it has become more much more clearer. It’s a tool to undermine democraty. And a lot of people are stepping in that trap.
There is a difference between just giving birth and actual raising children. Between birth parents, adopted parents… There a plenty scenarios that exist: parents diying, family torn apart by war, parents becoming addicted. The queer community has a strong connection to found family. And of course all the people that never want and never will have children.
There are a lot of things in this world that could be much, much better right now. But the question, if life itself has a meaning is old as civilisation. But that’s a thing noone can really answer. shouldn’t we ask ourself what could we do to create a world where we all can live in? Where we all can participate, been heared and seen?
I think giving birth is not the problem, but billionars and companies destroying our World and our lives since decades. And no one seem to make them responsibil for it.
When climate change hits us, there is a big chance that rich people will survive and will try to form a world as they please. They could erase feminism, queer folk, the diversity of culture, democraty. They will erase the fact that they destoried our world. So the humans that remain will be like slaves to them.