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Alan tudyk?

Andy serkis?

That one guy who does a shitload of videogames and anime dubs whose name always escapes me?

“so how have you been” as they walk into the room, and don’t bother waiting for an answer before asking why you’re bothering them here today.

There’s your emotional assessment. That’ll be $40.

Honestly if I saw this on my bill if be calling my doctor directly to ask what the actual fuck this bullshit is.

“I don’t understand, if you don’t want crushed orphans, just don’t toss them in the orphan crushing machine”

Well maybe they shouldn’t have an orphan crushing machine in the first place.

An M72 LAW rocket launcher tube, sitting in the center of the living room, on end. No coffee table, just that sitting upright in between the couch and TV.

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Booger hook: bang switch.

#10: Greed is eternal.

#45: Expand or die.

I think they’ve all taken this to heart, like good Ferengi.

For when you don’t need to strip mine the countryside 15 cubic meters at a time, bit still want to.

Yeah, I don’t go back to places like that, I leave reviews, and I tell anyone who mentions car trouble “don’t go to this place here”

There’s a shop about 35 minutes from me I’ve been at for awhile now, they’ve saved me quite a bit of money over the years and the ONLY time I’ve had an issue with something, THEY contacted ME to ask me to come back in so they could fix a mistake.

I’ve had mechanics tell me my cabin filter is bad on a vehicle that didn’t have one.

I’ve had mechanics show me how gross my spark plugs were in a diesel engine sedan.

I’ve had mechanics tell me I need new tires on a truck I had just replaced the tires on two weeks beforehand, and driven in mud.

I know more about my truck’s issues than the guy who just did an oil change and casually glanced at a couple other things.

All that said, I still appreciate an actual mechanic (not the lube guy who started on Tuesday) telling me what they found wrong. You ever know when you might actually miss something.

But for real, fuck that spark plug guy.

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