I need some alcohol at least once per month.

I work with people in three different time zones. There is always someone having a flower festival, religious day or national holiday. Nobody gets offended for forgetting a holiday or if they did they don’t last long.

Taxes are gone.

Everybody: yay!

Police: protection money and speed traps it is

Everybody: oh no!

The heat index — a combination of temperature and humidity — hit 58.5 degrees Celsius (137 Fahrenheit) Tuesday morning in Rio, the highest index ever recorded there. Actual temperatures dropped slightly on Wednesday, but were forecast to rise again to 40 degrees Celsius (104 F) on Thursday.

Yeah, that’s Celsius.

“The riskier the road, the greater the profit.” ~Rules of Acquisition #62

When it’s propaganda and misinformation dressing up as free speech, yes.

I have a coffee joke but you’d roast me for it

I have a chocolate joke, but it’s too dark

That’s what schools with zero tolerance policies teach children: hit the bully with extreme prejudice as you’re punished anyway even for defending.

All over Asia every time the temperature in the evening goes from scorching to bearable for me, everybody there starts pulling out sweaters and jackets.

Pushes daughter out the door

“Go and make some grand children. You have quality dad material right there.”

“Daaaaaad!”

It’s only Christmas after Saint Nicolas.

It’s a USA thing. Other places often have rules that say the price advertised (on menu, website, in store) is the price the customer pays, all fees and taxes included.

“We have to protect all life!” he said and throws another piece of former cow on the barbecue.

(Sorry mom & dad, nothing personal)

Retirement and a nursing home are no longer economically feasible and my landlord doesn’t allow additional residents, so good luck out there mom & dad.

How the modern world feels like

AI is even worse. It takes over the biases and misinformation of the info it was trained on, shows these on its answers to users who pick up those biases and use them elsewhere on the net, what is then used to train AI. It’s all becoming a shitification loop.

Unfortunately there are many juniors that you give the job of doing A to C, and if you come back a week later they’ll report they’re still stuck at job A, point 1 and didn’t want to message anyone, and is something a senior can fix in 5 minutes. Even worse you message them and they just report everything is ok, they’re working on it. Of course they never update the status of the project so you never know if they’re stuck or just not updating.

That makes daily meetings necessary so they don’t lose the entire week and delay the project. Unfortunately more senior members also get dragged in those meetings. It’s a frustrating part of working with mixed teams and a “just let me code” mentality.

Except with cloning the other twin would be a different age as with current tech the clone is back to being a baby. You’d need rapid growth tech and mind transfer tech to at least make the clone have the same age, memories and personality, although that would most likely introduce other differences.

And an extension to accept the cookies automatically.