I can totally appreciate the guilt you are feeling, it’s human to look at all the things one might have changed when something tragic happens. But at the same time, when a person is suffering, there is only so much other people can do to help another. Really.
As an outside observer, you late wife’s mom is saying shitty things because she’s wracked by grief and misses her daughter. It’s easier for her to blame someone else than to face the grief, and possibly face that she too had a part to play in her daughter’s health and wellbeing. Who is to say that with better upbringing as a child, your late wife might have made different choices? I’m not saying your mother in law is at fault, much as she shouldn’t be saying it was your fault either!
Anyway, look, whatever happened was a fucking tragedy and all you can do is to deal with a day at a time. I’m sure there was happiness, so focus on that and remember that a part of your wife lives on in your four children, so keep on going for their sake.
I can totally appreciate the guilt you are feeling, it’s human to look at all the things one might have changed when something tragic happens. But at the same time, when a person is suffering, there is only so much other people can do to help another. Really.
As an outside observer, you late wife’s mom is saying shitty things because she’s wracked by grief and misses her daughter. It’s easier for her to blame someone else than to face the grief, and possibly face that she too had a part to play in her daughter’s health and wellbeing. Who is to say that with better upbringing as a child, your late wife might have made different choices? I’m not saying your mother in law is at fault, much as she shouldn’t be saying it was your fault either!
Anyway, look, whatever happened was a fucking tragedy and all you can do is to deal with a day at a time. I’m sure there was happiness, so focus on that and remember that a part of your wife lives on in your four children, so keep on going for their sake.