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Did you read the description of the book the guy linked?
This is an objective biographical study of Crowley written by someone who lived and worked intimately with him. Dr. Regardie observed “The Great Beast” at close quarters while serving as his personal secretary. The Eye in the Triangle was written many years later, after long contemplation. Regardie combines the psychological insight afforded by his professional training as a Reichian analyst with his grasp of Crowley’s magical personality.
It’s likely that the passage wasn’t written by Crowley himself, so a source like the one linked may be useful.
Also Libgen if you’d rather download the book and ctrl+f the passage you’re looking for
I don’t know but the blueballs does seem like a viable idea to work from.
It could’ve been worse, all she left you with was Blueberries…
Tender Blueberries from fertile ground, had their spirits raised but were ultimately crushed to bring you this beverage. Best served with an ice pack applied.