My pleasure. Let me know if there are other resources I can recommend!

We ALL need to hear it! You’re so welcome. I try to keep reminders near me when hustle culture rears its head, and it always helps :)

I always find that starting any new job is exhausting! There is so much to learn - not even the “work” itself, but processes, personalities, and systems that differ from workplace to workplace. Unless you are struggling hard financially, give yourself some time. For me, it takes at least 4-6 months in a new job to feel ready to add something else. (Now that I own my own business, it’s just adding the next thing in the business…then 4-6 months later, the next thing…). You will have to feel out your own balance and where you can draw the line. I don’t think it’s a bad idea to make more money, if that’s a goal. But you can’t do it at the expense of your sanity, relationships, health, etc. Make it sustainable.

I’m in the US for context, but have lived all over the world, and don’t participate in the hustle culture here. I work hard for my clients and there are crunch times, but on average it’s about 30-35 hours a week. That’s a sweet spot for me! I hope you find yours.

Willpower IS a thing and there is some really interesting research about how it is an exhaustible psychological “resource” we have! In other words, we can exercise our willpower up to a point, but it’s not infinite. Highly recommend reading “Switch” by Chip and Dan Health which goes into willpower as a concept if you are interested in this.

I don’t know about the notes, but I wanted to say that it takes time and effort to unlearn this idea that we are supposed to be productive all the time. This is a lie that many powerful people want us to internalize so we work ourselves to death, and it’s very insidious and omnipresent. It’s become a perverse “value” in our society at large and something to be proud of.

But you are not a machine. You’re a person. And that means you need and deserve rest and comfort.

You have inherent worth outside of your productivity, how hard you work, or how much money you make.

Those metrics don’t tell us anything about how you are as a person, your values, your kindness, your strengths, the joy you bring others.

ALL of that stuff has value. Real true value. You have to start challenging these beliefs about your worthiness. Because you are already worthy.

Some further reading/resources:

1. The Body Is Not An Apology
2. Rest is Resistance
3. Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

If you can, look into local jewelers who can craft you something handmade with ethically sourced stones. I’m in Seattle and we have Valerie Madison who does great engagement sets and Everling Jewelry who uses recycled metals. A local artist will be able to recommend something within your budget, and your SO can and should be involved, as another poster mentioned.

Cool map! And that Mandingo map is as confusing IRL, lol. In Mali, most people speak at least 2 native languages plus some French, and the dialects or languages can be completely different even 10km apart! We learned Bambara, which was a lingua franca (the irony, haha), but most people in our community spoke Ganakan and Fulakan as well.

Aw thanks! I mostly lurked on the other site but I’d love to make this a good place for good people :) and when you can’t sleep after taking the dog out, and someone asks about the exact tightrope you’ve been walking for years, what else do you do but write a long, sleep deprived answer? Lol

Hi! I’m a wedding florist and educator in the US. I also have PiHole running at home (thanks to my partner) and feel the same way about social media - absolutely hate it, no personal accounts, and it’s only for the business.

Edited to add: I draw a hard line in my business with paying Meta or Google to advertise. I have never paid Zuck a dime. I also refuse to use TikTok because it’s a privacy nightmare.

Here’s how I handle different marketing channels:

SEO - my bread and butter - allows me to blog useful things and not feel slimy. Try to blog about things “upstream” from your services that couples would hire first - venues, planners, caterers maybe.

Instagram - I’m a florist, it’s a must. I used to use a separate device but after forgetting it at a wedding for behind-the-scenes shots, and the having to transfer everything over, I just gave up. I have Instagram on my main phone and it annoys me. I have mic/photo permissions turned off unless I post a story/reel. I use Tailwind for IG and Pinterest static posts.

Facebook - I don’t use the app, just desktop. have a FB page but I rarely log in. Tailwind allows me to post my IG post to FB without logging in.

Pinterest - I don’t use the app, just desktop. And I use Tailwind to schedule. To be honest I do not get any leads from Pinterest, so I stopped caring about it.

Networking - This is another key source of leads for me. We have several local wedding vendor groups here, and I belong to all of them. And I go to meetings regularly. I highly encourage you to go out and meet the people who will eventually refer you! (But never ask for a referral/preferred vendor until you’ve worked together at least once.)

The Knot/WW - Worth having a free listing. Only worth having a paid listing if your service is low cost and you’re interested in volume. Are there French sites like those you could be listed on, some kind of directory?

Wedding shows - I’ve never done a wedding show but some people have lots of success. Whatever you do, make sure you make them book a consultation with you right there at the booth. Otherwise you will lose them. It’s not enough to gather emails (although, do that too) because they will be getting a billion emails after the show from vendors. Be the first in their inbox. Have an incentive for scheduling their consult that’s not a discount (e.g. bigger photo book if they end up booking with you or something).

Hope that helps! Never keep doing a marketing method that isn’t bringing you the right people. It’s a waste of your time and you can’t do all these things, you’ll go mad! Please DM me if you have questions or wanna chat more, I’m happy to help. Je parle français aussi, mais seulement après café :)

It’s very cool to see so many of our local (PNW) seed farmers quoted in this article! It’s true that they are doing incredible work. Some of our farm friends are growing seed, sourcing heirlooms from other countries to trial them here (including all the customs logistics involved), and saving their own mutants. Some great companies to support for your winter seed buying:

Osborne Seeds Wild Garden Seed Uprising Seeds Baker Creek Seeds High Mowing Johnny’s Seeds

I don’t manage our PiHole, so easier said than done. I’m the non tech spouse (although not clicking ads or on TikTok all day, lol) but I can’t bug my spouse in the middle of the day to whitelist something for me. I can easily disable it myself and it takes 10 seconds. I could learn how to whitelist, but TBH I have enough tech to keep up with for the business already.

My most frequent issue is that links created through an email service provider like ConvertKit will get blocked by PiHole.

I’m a small business owner and so I get a lot of other people’s newsletters, on purpose. I like seeing what mentors and colleagues are doing with their businesses. But a link to their website, a blog post, anything really will almost always be blocked by PiHole if it’s sent via an ESP. This kind of “tracking” (email clicks from a small biz I know and trust) is something I am totally fine with.

It’s easy to disable for 1 minute to click through, but sometimes I forget that the PiHole is active and I can’t figure out why the links aren’t working.