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What the hell kind of bidet were you using? I’ve got what I’d consider middle of the road shits, and every bidet that I have ever used has been literally a different world from mashing my shit around with a tissue.

Went from like a three-minute process involving a lot of paper to ten seconds, followed by thirty to dry, and usually no toilet paper at all.

Maybe now that you’re older you should try it out again? I probably wouldn’t have liked one as a kid either, but I also took like one shower a week.

For real though, you don’t plant your own tomatoes to save money, you plant your own tomatoes because your crop is going to taste so good that you’ll be chasing that flavor any time you’re stuck buying them from the store. Just so far beyond storebought.

It’s the one crop I keep coming back to every year - the effort is worth it.