Yeah he’s so fucked. Caught red handed worse than Nixon.

He took top secret documents when he left the white house. They don’t belong to him, they’re meant to be secured in the library of congress or something. Anyway, librarians tried to get them back, he said no, did a bunch of illegal shit (including flashing them around people he wanted to impress) so FBI got involved, raided his place, found more secret documents, special prosecutor was appointed who took ages really nailing the iron clad case together. Now he been arraigned in court facing federal charges. Because Trumps a dumb shit.

Nah, this is exciting, like getting out of a mildly abusive relationship that all your friends and family knew was bad and had been trying to get you to leave the jerk for years and now you’re finally out the door. And you feel that spark in your chest, the stirring of anticipation you’ve not felt in a long time.

Get into it, you fucking hedonist