Vance hates cat ladies because cats are the natural enemies of couches.

God, imagine living in a retirement community that has a Hot Topic.

Well, you know, if you guys had spent that money talking about how you were going to “make America great again” instead of on slinging mud at Joe Biden, none of it would have been wasted and you’d be ahead of the curve, wouldn’t you? Maybe instead of crying like a little bitch, you start figuring out how you’re going to sell your miserable agenda to the American people?

Yup. It’s incredibly sad, actually. So many people in the Republican party who are afraid to admit to their fellows that they’re gay, because Republicans hate gay people. The majority of them, in fact, think that gay marriage should be outlawed. Not that I have much sympathy for closeted gay Republicans; they embrace every other bigoted position of their party, after all. It’s just a bunch of people who accept that they’ll be second-class citizens in exchange for them making every other “undesirable” a 3rd-class citizen.

I mean, this isn’t even satire. That’s straight up legit.

As much as I agree with Kyle’s sentiment, I can 100% understand Jack’s position here. In addition to wanting to remain eligible for movie and tv roles, he probably also doesn’t want to get shot. Security for singers is probably more lax than security for ex-presidents, after all (at least most of the time). It’s easy to imagine some troglodytic cultist piece of shit taking the band joking about killing their bloated lord and savior personally, and resolving to do something about it.

It’d be wasted breath, really. Trump will never step down, because he’s trying to remain out of prison. If he loses, then there goes any chance he had at pardoning himself for his numerous crimes. So he’s not only the far and away favorite Republican candidate, but he’s also highly motivated to stay in the race for personal reasons. No appeal to his sense of patriotism will work to get him to step down because he has no patriotism. He’s in it for himself and himself only.

Biden, on the other hand, is just the default Democrat guy because he’s the incumbent, and the party figured that’d be enough to win, and so haven’t been trying very hard. And that has everybody terrified, because if he loses, then we get another 4 years of Trump, and probably never get to vote again. Basically, people are calling for Biden to step down because the stakes are way too high to fuck around.

You make an excellent point. Maybe Thomas Midgley, Jr. was actually an alien bent on the destruction of Earth’s galactic expansion potential. He was, after all, the person responsible for both leaded gas, and chlorofluorocarbons.

Now, I’m not the conspiracy-minded type. I’m not going to say that aliens from some other part of the galaxy detected us as an emerging threat, and so sent a probe to our planet to spray stupid juice into the atmosphere. But if aliens from some other part of the galaxy DID detect us as an emerging threat, and sent a probe to our planet to spray stupid juice into the atmosphere, wouldn’t that explain, like, pretty much everything?

Is he the fighter of the Day Mayor?

I occasionally forget mine, too, but I was fortunate in that I was born in 1970, so it’s really easy to calculate it on the fly.

More like:

Scientist: “Hey, I think this thing.”

Scientist: goes on to commit atrocities in the name of thing

Other Scientist: “Jesus Christ!”

Absolutely incredible.

Reminds me of this gem:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ovrtzwXKxaE