flicker

I’m playing a video game lately that allows you to stop time, and I keep thinking, the first thing I’d do is relax. Downtime (time where you’re forced to be unproductive) and downtime (time where you’re fine but have no need to be productive) are two very different things.

I enjoyed this immensely. Especially the whelks.

The better to shoot with, my dear.

That line is the Trope Namer for, That Makes Me Feel Angry!

(Warning. That is a link to tvtropes. If you value your time, don’t click that link!)

“Attack of the Clothes” had an ending that I really appreciated.

Why did I read this like patch notes on a game?

I’m pretty open with my struggles with depression and how I managed to actually overcome them with persistence and treatment. So, no, we’re not.

Won’t be lettin strangers on the internet erase all my hard work.

If I don’t win, that bitch Abigail (who refuses to let children win an egg hunt) will, every. Single. Year. So with that knowledge, I will never fail.

Being that it’s cards against humanity, I expected them to email a disapproving message to your mother.

Also Black Wall Street got hate crimed off the face of the earth, so I’d say “white capitalism” is fair enough.

A lady confessed to killing her first husband.

She said that he was wonderful, kind, caring, right up until she had her firstborn. Then he struck her.

She said she killed him (while he was sleeping), buried him in the garden, and that night she moved “the next state over.” She married a different man (who claimed he fathered her firstborn) and they had many years and many other children together.

I want yall to know the best part of working with senile elderly folks is how often they’ll tell you the most insane stuff.

Ah. The Superman loophole.

A friend in high school heard me and the girls whispering (one of whom was his girlfriend). When he found out one of us needed a pad or tampons and we were seeing who had some, he got excited for the chance to go to the store to get them for us, because he said that buying tampons is the same as screaming, “I have a woman!!!”

I hope that guy is happy, wherever he is. He was a kind soul.

Same episode that gave us the amazing, “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”

Being bi is literally the best of both worlds. It’s the sexual equivalent of being born wealthy.

The coastal mathematicians are just into math to screw you and take your money. The geniuses at πzo really captured the spirit of the math.

(I had to go a long way to get to πzo but I’m glad ai got there.)

I’ve never seen it before now, and I loved it. (If you’re reading this and haven’t seen it, go watch it, because the one thing someone else mentioned in a comment would’ve been funny if I wasn’t expecting it.)

The end of the bit was what really did it for me.

Thank you.

Danny Devito.

…I’m a woman.