There will be no 2028 election.

I think for the sake of mixed company and delicate sensibilities we should refer to this as a “BM” rather than a “bullshit machine”. Therefore it could be a LLM BM, or simply a BM.

They probably tried a dozen employees. This was the best.

And if they say things like “God bless you”, I take it as a sign of respect

Very different from someone in the South saying “God bless your heart”, which means they think you’re being stupid.

Their density makes them ring like a bell, if suspended by a wire through the center. Good wind chimes.

I don’t understand why the name of the company is redacted. They chose to send this letter, let 'em own it.

Get your coworkers to join you in using the nearest fast food restaurant whenever you need to use the restroom. When management sees everyone constantly cycling through the front door, they may get a clue.

Cloth, probably not. But look into homemade paper - you might be able to turn vacuum lint into something like construction paper, but ew.

Edit: Found this - instructions on turning dryer lint into paper

I also need that list, for the next time I need my balls gargled.

Great source! Phrased differently - can’t build a cistern without a permit - but they are certainly painted as right a-holes about it. Thanks for the source!

Source?

Replaced by AI. Nothing to see here…

Was it the one where they did the thing, or the one where the thing was gonna happen?

Haven’t seen Pet Rocks yet.

Introduce radio to the Romans. They had the metallurgy to create coils. Even a simple Morse code system would easily keep their empire going. Probably end up like that Star Trek TOS where Centurions are carrying sub-machine guns, though. If want to read what a great SF writer did with this (guy from 1938 ends up in 535AD), read “Lest Darkness Fall”

The demonstration is key. The Greeks actually had one in 80BC or thereabouts, but as far as we know they never figured out a use for it. Wiki is here: Aeolipile

This really feels like crossing a line. Whelp, time to tax 'em I guess…

Give artists a basic universal income, and I guarantee every single person on earth will suddenly discover their “inner Picasso” to qualify.

How about we turn this around a bit? Instead of asking, “What should be done with them?”, let’s try it a bit more personal.

Suppose you woke tomorrow and found yourself in a hospital room. A doctor comes in and says, “Ah! You’re awake! And you’ll be pleased to know we’ve cured you.”

Physically and mentally you feel (in this scenario) just as you do now - normal, healthy, but perhaps a bit puzzled.

“What was wrong with me?” you ask.

“Ah, well, you’d gone crazy for a bit there. It was like a virus, lots of people in your town caught it. It… influences its victims. You had it for years. You killed about a dozen people. Rape. Torture. That sort of thing.”

“What?!”

“Don’t worry - you were confused, not yourself. You believed that rape, murder, torture, kidnapping, and all that was acceptable. But now you’re fine. Go in peace.”

Could you simply go back to your life? Would changing your life, dedicating it to serve in the memory of those you killed, be enough for you to live with yourself from then on?

Would everyone around you constantly wonder if you were really cured, and worry that perhaps you’d kill again? Or fear that since you caught this virus, you might be susceptible to others that may come down the road, with the same or worse consequences?

What are the options? Obviously, if you are still dangerous, there are fewer. But what if these people suddenly came to the realization that their actions were as horrible as we find them to be - what are their options?

A. Suicide - can’t live with the memory, or the possibility of relapse;

B. Incarceration - be sequestered from others (either voluntarily or by society) due to possibility of relapse;

C. Execution - it doesn’t bring back the dead, but it assures no new dead from your hand.

D. Brain wipe - but we don’t have that yet.

What’s the answer?

Yeah, Assistant blows much of the time:

“Hey Google. What’s two plus two?”

“Sorry, I don’t understand. But I found something similar. Would you like to know what two plus two is?”

“Yes, dammit!”

“On the website Add A Couple of Numbers for the Hell of It, they say, two plus two is four. Would you like a little more context?”

“No!!!”

“Alright. I’m here to help.”

Arrgh.