monkic

@RealAccountNameHere some of the words here were almost verbatim what I tell my husband and therapist. In a way I’m really glad to see I’m not alone globally, but I still feel hurtful and profound loneliness where I live. I feel so detached from the present and everyone else, watching them go through life business as usual without any willingness to do the smallest sacrifice to their privileged comfortable lives to do whatever little bit an individual can in the face of collapse.

I feel the same way too! I feel like this desperate need to just experience, document the nature around me before it disappears. Kinda like the vibe of the game SEASON: A letter to the future, I guess.

I feel this even more strongly when I scroll through my local/friend group chats and social media (I have to maintain my Instagram page for work). Everyone is so preoccupied with such trivial things in the grand scheme of things, living blissfully in ignorance and focusing all their time and attention and effort on … what exactly? And I know that if I try to talk to these people about climate change, about all the food and water and economic difficulties that will be hitting us soon, they will just dismiss me and I will lose their respect. It’s so scary and sad.

That’s how I’ve been feeling for years now, intensified with the fact that there’s not enough being done even as things escalate faster than expected. As someone with lifelong anxiety and depression, what I’ve learned is to not focus on my own helplessness and lack of self-worth, but instead what I can do and contribute in any little way to any person or creature. It’s up to every one of us to give our own life meaning, and I’m trying to choose kindness.