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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • I think this might want a clean sheet design. At least as I understand it, there are issues with privacy in the fediverse/activitypub vis-a-vis non-public messages. I think it’s also an area where, in order to go the most good, you’d want simple signups and easy engagement (to say nothing of being able to trust that your info has been deleted when you delete it).

    Clearly, I’m here and I value the philosophical underpinnings of the fediverse, but I think it might not be the best fit for dating.

    That said, if you feel like you can solve those problems, you’d be doing a world of good if you’re right.


  • Nonprofit versions of vital social tech. If I had the money sitting around, I’d love to start a nonprofit dating site/app. I met my wife on OKC in 2011 before it got bought up and enshittified. It was great and wasn’t geared toward just keeping you engaged (they’re soooooo bad now!). You’d probably have to gatekeep it with a small fee to disincentive bots, but with a relatively small investment, you could create something really useful for folks without preying on anyone’s desperation.

    Signal would be a good model for this sort of thing.

    Edit: typos








  • Read generously, OP’s point can be taken to refer to relationships generally, i.e. social skills. A lack of engagement with dating in and of itself doesn’t point to someone being sick or deficient, it could indicate any number of things. I don’t think there’s anything implied about judging individuals here.

    A societal trend of young people having fewer healthy interpersonal relationships at all is troubling. We’re a social species living in a world that requires a certain amount of cooperation both for societal function and individual wellbeing.

    Social isolation is a killer, both in terms of its effects on the person isolated and to society at large via the actions of (a statistically higher proportion of) those who are socially isolated.

    A call for ameliorative measures against such a trend is not a personal attack on anyone.


  • I second this. I use a couple of dirt cheap VPSs from racknerd ($24/yr for 1 CPU/512Mb ram, but you can find coupons online to get them for $10/yr 1CPU/768mb ram) one does port forwarding over wireguard to my mail server so I can keep all my data in house, the other hosts an NGINX reverse proxy for all my web services. Works great. I use the reverse proxy for nextcloud and jellyfin for myself and 6 other users. Never had an issue. (Well, never had an issue I didn’t cause myself at any rate.)

    It’s a little harder to set up than some of the other suggestions, but it’s cheap, fully transparent to users, and doesn’t expose your home network to the outside world.



  • The user and group mapping for lxc is easy(ish) once you understand it.

    The above breaks out as follows: lxc.idmap: [user/group] [beginning host UID/GID] [number of sequential IDs to map]

    lxc.idmap: u 0 100000 1000 [maps LXC UIDs 0-999 to host UIDs 100000-100999]

    lxc.idmap: g 0 100000 1000 [maps LXC GIDs 0-999 to host GIDs 100000-100999]

    lxc.idmap: u 1000 1000 1 [maps LXC UID 1000 to host UID 1000]

    lxc.idmap: g 1000 1000 1 [maps LXC GID 1000 to host GID 1000]

    lxc.idmap: u 1001 101001 64535 [maps LXC UIDs 1001-65535 to host UIDs 101001-165535]

    lxc.idmap: g 1001 101001 64535 [maps LXC GIDs 1001-65535 to host GIDs 101001-165535]

    The last two lines are needed because a running Linux system needs access to a minimum of 65336 UIDs/GIDs (zero-indexed).

    You can basically think of LXC as running everything on the host system itself, but running it all as UID/GID 100000-65535 by default. In an unprivileged container, you have to remap these to give access to resources not owned by that range.


  • This is pretty much how I’m hosting a similar set of services to you. I have a couple of dirt cheap VPSs ($10/yr via racknerd) which serve as public access points. One provides a wireguard tunnel and port forwarding to a mailinabox instance serving mail for my various domains, the other runs a wireguard tunnel and nginx reverse proxy for all my public-facing services. A little fiddly to set up the port forwarding, but it’s been rock solid since I set it up.

    Re: email, it’s not too hard, but it is unforgiving. Mailinabox makes it much, much easier to set up an email server that doesn’t automatically go to spam. Basically though, if you have your SPF, DKIM, DMARC and RDNS set up correctly, your golden. Mailinabox takes care of all of it except RDNS.