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Joined 9 months ago
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Cake day: October 19th, 2023

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  • Well you shouldn’t base your posts on whether or not people will “downvote” it. If they do it’s usually because you’ve told the truth or said something they’d rather not hear. And after all, this isn’t supposed to be a popularity contest. Online forums are the last place you should be seeking validation or a sense of self-worth, because you usually won’t get it.

    You should be willing to post honestly and openly about anything. If it gets downvoted, so be it. I see it as almost a way of measuring how much of what I said really affected people.




  • These are all bad ideas. The more you change yourself to “please” everyone else, the less happy you will ever be. One of the hardest lessons of life is to learn that, you can’t ever please everyone, and when you change to please someone, they’ll soon change what they want and you’ll never stop having to change to please them.

    The real secret to happiness is not to change yourself at all. It’s to learn how to like who you are, the way you are. Yes the world is cruel and cold - and it’s awlays going to be that way. You aren’t the problem here. You are fine just the way you are, and it’s a secret that could save many lives and keep many people from self-harm if they only realized it at a younger age.

    The truth is, nobody wants someone around them who is trying to please them all the time. They want to be around someone who is self-confident and radiates a healthy well-adjusted persona that says “this is who I am, love it or leave it.”

    Becoming rich to attract people may work to attract people, but they’ll only be attracted by the money, not by you. As soon as that runs out, so will they. And usually they will run out anyway, even if the money doesn’t.

    You need to get some help with your attitude about yourself, and start deciding that you’re OK as you are. Do not do the surgery option - it’s wrong. Women who get surgery to “look more like so and so” are never happy. Surgery isn’t the answer to your problems in life, at all.







  • I don’t think depression is quite like catching a cold, for one thing a cold is a virus and it usually goes away in about seven days. And OTC meds can help relieve the pain and nasal drip. With depression, it’s a mental state and condition usually having to do with imbalances in brain chemistry and other “mechanisms” in the brain.

    And, it’s also in many ways even more common than the common cold. Almost everyone has some depression at some point, and it’s almost like it’s hard-wired into our neurons to sometimes feel that way. So I almost think of it less as a disease and more of a condition of being human.

    There’s so much stigma about it and people are afraid to admit to it, but really depression is almost as normal as hunger or thirst.


  • I dunno. Yet I’ve gone deep sea fishing in Oregon, getting up at 4:00 am to go out in dark foggy weather and spending all day heaving and ho-ing (!) on the high seas. And getting up before dawn to go “clamming,” i.e, breaking all your fingernails digging through rock and sand in wet cold water.

    And crabbing also, which I prefer because at least you get to sit in a boat and cruise around most of the time, waiting to pull up the traps. I enjoyed it all, but I was a lot younger then. I just like being out on the water - it’s not so much the fishing, although I had a grand time deep sea fishing.






  • These “isms and phobias” are used as excuses to rationalize violence, but really they are just excuses based on irrationality and on hurtful stereotypes.

    So if you’re angry about someone or some group of people, the way you handle it positively is to use that energy to lift up people.

    Instead of being negative and downward, trying to stomp on other people like they are bugs, what about trying to get to where you can help someone who is struggling. Doesn’t have to be a person of the group you hate, but anyone who needs a helping hand.

    Think of it this way, the person you’re really mostly hurting when you’re out of control angry, is yourself. All that energy expended on bitterness and stress - why not instead use it to go out and be proactive with people. The world is a stupid place, so - go flip it the bird by helping someone out.

    It sounds weird I know. I’m usually a pretty angry reactive person. At the store yesterday, a lady was buying like eight cartons of soda, so I asked her if I could help her with loading them into her car. She was a little unsure at first but then was really grateful for the help.

    It’s a tiny thing. But I felt good, in a way. Sure it’s not going to change the world, but it’s better than putting more dents and dings in it.