My friends, everybody has their down days, and during these long winter months it is especially easy to succumb to the doldrums and find yourself in a bit of a funk. But not to fear! I have a simple tip that’s guaranteed to pick you up and get you back in good spirits in no time, and here it is: Whenever you’re…
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The Onion, if you’re reading this, you have to be prepared at a moment’s notice to publish a follow-up to this article, from the same author, which simply says, “I’m finally dead.”
That’s very generous. Frankly I’m surprised he is still alive with the shape he is in and his dietary habits.
What a cruel world where Mr. Chandler Bong passes in his early 50’s and this insufferable bag of garbage and self-absorption is still with us.