There’s nothing wrong with genuinely using dude in a non gendered way, it’s nice and considerate to ask transfem people about it (a lot of us won’t speak up about small stuff like that, it’s not worth the trouble correcting that kind of stuff a lot of the time) but yea it wouldn’t be reasonable to get mad at that kind of stuff immediately. I was giving the other guy shit for being a sarcastic asshole about it, but yea it’s just a nice thing to do, not necessary but definitely nice if you know someone is transfem