• neatchee@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Tl;Dr: a meme went around asking women if they’d rather be stuck on an isolated island with a strange man or a strange bear. Most women chose the bear, largely due to the bear being more predictable and easier to deal with than a man inclined to do them harm, which, based on the experience of most women, is a whole lot of men.

    Fragile men took this as an attack on all men everywhere and were offended at being “called a predator”.

    There’s a pretty good thread in my comment history where I try to address the issue with one such fellow male and their response is about what you’d expect, confirming all the reasons why women chose the strange bear over the strange man

    • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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      5 months ago

      Edit/preface: none of this is intended to diminish the very real and valid sense of fear that women may feel towards unknown/untrusted men. I am in no way trying to gatekeep other people’s emotions, nor saying women should “toughen up” or whatever. If my comment was construed as such, I apologize.

      It’s a bit of a silly premise, because I’m willing to bet the VAST majority of answerers have never been in close proximity to an actual, honest to god, “hmmm that meatbag looks tasty imma eat its face” bear.

      I have. It’ll bring you a clarity of mind and a knowledge of complete vulnerability that you can’t really find outside of other imminently life-threatening situations.

      Sure, random dude could be a psycho. But if there’s not much (or any) food on the island, the bear is definitely going to eat you at some point, and there’s nothing you can do about that.

      All that said, as a dude myself, I wish there were less shitty men out there. Why can’t we all just fucking respect other humans?

      • neatchee@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        Here’s what you’re missing:

        A) it’s much less about whether the bear is a bigger threat and much more about how fucking awful men must treat women for the average woman to go “hmmm… Maybe the bear, tbh?” The fact that it’s even something women have to think about for more than a split second is a dramatic failure of our society. THAT is the point, and any discussion of “well you don’t know about bears then…” is reply-guy shit that misses the entire point and simply serves to further solidify how blind most men are to what goes on in the day to day life of women.

        B) An aggressive bear is a known quantity. Is it a threat? Obviously. But it’s a threat that we understand extremely well. Like, a quick Google search will teach you everything you need to know about what to do if you see a bear. But a strange, unknown man? Who the fuck knows. They might seem perfectly pleasant and reasonable, act like your friend, and then flip the fuck out when the woman refuses to sleep with him that night in return for all that manly protection he provided during the day or whatever. THAT is why women pick the bear: a known problem is often preferable to uncertainty that could lead to being extremely vulnerable against a really smart attacker.

        Remember, the question wasn’t “would you rather be in a locked room with a bear or a man?” It was “would you rather be stuck on an island with a strange bear or a strange man?”

        And to your final question, why can’t we just respect other humans? Great fucking question, but the misogynists should be the ones facing that inquiry, not the people on the internet trying to point you towards them. It may be more uncomfortable and even dangerous to confront them, but don’t take the easy way out by asking victims and their allies to be “nicer” instead

    • Kaboom@reddthat.com
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      5 months ago

      So youve never seen a bear in the woods? Hint: if you see a bear, its probably brown, and you’re in a heap of trouble. Best hope you’re in a car or something like that. They will eat you alive if they can get at you.

      • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network
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        5 months ago

        Gods, it’s like some people never passed 10th grade English. Sometimes the important part of the text isn’t the literal meaning. There’s like metaphor and hyperbole and shit.

        • sus@programming.dev
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          5 months ago

          When you meet a bear in the woods, there is a 0% chance they will notice how the situation bears a resemblance to the popular meme and proceed to mansplain about how bears are more dangerous.

          This is and has always been the one and only reason women choose the bear. But one question yet eludes us: how did the cycle start?

          • Kaboom@reddthat.com
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            5 months ago

            If youre so suicidal youd rather to be eaten alive than a chance to be condescended to, theres a problem.

            • magnetosphere@fedia.io
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              5 months ago

              If the biggest threat you pose to women is possible condescension, and you don’t understand why this is a meme, then maybe you’re one of the good guys.

              • Kaboom@reddthat.com
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                5 months ago

                Tbh, my bigger question is if you’re in bear country, why arent you carrying a big gun? Be prepared!

                The whole thing just reinforces a helpless victim mentality, and it irritates me. Its misogynistic. If you’re that worried, buy a gun, learn to use it safely, and carry it. To me, this is on the same level of not having a fire extinguisher or toilet plunger. I just dont understand people who refuse basic defense. Did they watch an old western and see the damsel get tied to the railroad tracks and get the wrong message?

                • neatchee@lemmy.world
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                  5 months ago

                  Some people think “just buy a fire extinguisher”. Other people think “why not prevent the fire in the first place?” And a few people think “I prefer defense in depth. Mitigate the fires to the degree possible and keep a fire extinguisher nearby for emergencies.”

                  Only one of these people has it right. Can you guess which one?

        • Kaboom@reddthat.com
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          5 months ago

          Dude was going around asking if theyd rather meet a man or a bear in the woods. There isnt much hidden meaning behind it, its not a 4deep2me tumblr post