Let it all out. Be a storm

  • CreamDrippinHoles@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I have to take care of a 3 year old with pink eye giving her antibiotic eye drops 4 times a day for a week. It’s like wrangling a greased screaming pig. She doesn’t sleep though the night from the coughing, so i dont sleep through the night. I’m all alone while my spouse is on a work trip for 2 weeks, so he gets to miss out on all of this start to finish! No daycare or taekwondo so I can get a break! No family or support! All me all alone with a shit eyed toddler and no sleep for 2 weeks straight. That’s on top of all the other agonizing responsibilities haunting me every day. I’m so tired, 10 days left…

  • ThatWeirdGuy1001@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    I’ve completely given up on finding someone to spend my life with. I’m 27m and I have nothing to offer outside of love. Every girl I’m even slightly attracted to already has a boyfriend. I’m not unattractive but I have resting bitch face and I’m intimidating. I’ve lived my whole life with people being afraid of me which fuels my need for companionship. I know I’m not owed anything from anyone but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t still hurt.

    Anymore I’ve just accepted that I’m going to die alone because I’m only going to be wanted for what I can provide when I just want to be fucking loved. My own family doesn’t even love me. All they can talk about is how I’m not good enough or I’m not applying myself correctly.

    I hate being a man…

    • Shyder @lemmy.fmhy.ml
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      1 year ago

      I feel you, man.

      I’m 29 and in your same exact situation. I’m constantly reminded that I’m alone and the world isn’t made for single men. The harder I try the stronger the depression hits back since all my efforts are meaningless. And each time I talk to someone about it I just get the most cliche responses.

      I’ve just completely given up on love and accepted that I’ll be alone the rest of my life. Since it looks like it won’t be better, at least I don’t want it to be worse…

  • Banana@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    I am so angry. I am so sick and tired of just stating my experiences as a woman and having people who are not women straight up tell me that I’m wrong. About my own life experiences. It’s fucking exhausting to be surrounded on all sides by bad faith actors, knowing full well that you won’t get through to them, and feeling defeated, like the world is going backwards and you can feel your rights being torn away from you bit by bit, trying desperately to stand up for yourself and having any words you say fall on deaf ears. I’m so sick of not being listened to. I’m so sick of not being believed. I am so fucking sick of not being respected. I just want to be treated like a human and not be criticised for literally just fucking existing.

    I’m so done.

    • limeaide@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      I’m not a woman, but I am a minority living in a racist part of the USA, and I kinda know what you’re talking about. It’s really hard. I sometimes feel crazy because people don’t believe me.

      I constantly have to play this game of, “are they being rude, do they not like me, or are they being racist?” I feel gaslighted all the time. I feel lesser and it’s tiring having to be who I am. Even people who think they are being kind are assholes. Telling me that I’m “not like the others” is such an insult to my people. “The others” are my friends and family. They are not “others” they are people to me.

      I am sorry you are going through this. Your voice matters and is valid

      • Banana@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        Oh gosh I cant even imagine dealing with all the racist little micro aggressions you have to deal with every day. Also don’t feel bad for venting, you were just trying to relate, and I’m autistic so I relate in a very similar way. I feel for you too and I’m glad someone understands. ❤

    • ComatoseSquirrel@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      I’m sorry you have to deal with that. I hate dealing with people enough as a man. I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be to deal with all the bullshit you are stuck with, having your opinions and experiences dismissed, etc. I hope things improve for you (and all women), but it looks like it’ll get worse before it (hopefully) gets better.

      • Banana@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        I really appreciate your comment more than you know. Just having a guy read what I wrote there and not only recognize it, but believe it and validate it means so, so much.

        I’m lucky in that I have some close male friends probably a lot like you who are willing to listen and are actively improving themselves and I am so very thankful for that.

  • kanervatar@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Depression. I am very lonely. I have no plans for the future. Everything feels meaningless, most of all my existence.

  • JWBananas@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    The entirety of the first few pages of my subscription feed are all posts about Sync for Reddit and about the Logitech controller used in the submersible.

    The threadiverse has gaping fundamental flaws in its implementation. It will of course get better over time. But damn. This isn’t great.

  • Cargon@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!

  • archomrade [he/him]@midwest.social
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    1 year ago

    I’ve been trying to get assessed for ADHD for almost a month now, and the therapist i’ve been trying to schedule with has been dragging their feet for WEEKS.

    Both my brother and father have ADHD, my brother was diagnosed when he was a teenager but my dad was diagnosed in his 50s (I am 30). I work from home, which works great and I have no regrets, but when I get distracted, i get distracted HARD. I am constantly getting up, I have about 60 tabs open on multiple monitors, about every 30 seconds I think “I should look at xy or z” and open a new tab. When i’m not working, I have to have 2 or 3 things on at a time (read social media app redacted, have a tv show on, play with my dog, ect), and I have constant decision block in choosing how to spend my free time. It’s getting to the point where I’m up until 2am or worse towards the end of every deadline. I have a bunch of side projects I really want to dig into, but I can’t seem to maintain focus on any of them.

    My insurance covers the costs of therapy but only within network, so I feel a little hamstrung to use this therapist because they’re the closest to me and have great reviews and seem to have an approach I would appreciate, but JESUS CHRIST just respond to my fucking emails! To add to the stress, I feel very self conscious of the perception I might be fishing for drugs, and ever time I send a follow up email i feel like i’m making it look like I don’t really need help.

    I feel like i’m failing my wife, and my employer, and my friends, and I just want some help so I can get my life a little more in control. It’s exhausting.

  • PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca
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    1 year ago

    My manager is in meetings all the time but has a big ego so they have had no time to view my work but they ABSOLUTELY insist that they know exactly what I’ve done and that it needs to be better.

    Bitch all the things he’s complaining about I’ve already done but it’s impossible to get a word in.

  • Catfish@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    I utterly despise my supervisor. Seriously, shut the fuck up! These 85 meetings could have all been an email, you don’t listen to the rest of us anyway, and nobody gives shit about your medication schedule. Learn how to manage yourself before inflicting your crap on other people.

  • OneDimensionPrinter@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    I am absolutely exhausted with me and my kid’s ADHD. My wife is always upset at us because we can’t remember shit and I’ve spent my life feeling guilty because nobody will ever just give me a break.

    I’m expected to be “on” at all times and I just can’t do it forever. Sometimes I just need to do things my own, likely inefficient way, but at least at home it usually ends in being berated because I didn’t do it “the right way”.

    It’s so insanely demoralizing. I don’t even want to bother trying at anything because it will only be met with derision. What’s even the point. Fuck it all.

    Shit like that is why I still dream of disappearing forever to be alone and just left to my own devices.

    Thanks for letting me vent. Just so tired.

  • Karan5chaos@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    I wish my life wasn’t this complicated. Wife left me couple of years back on her own and now she won’t divorce me until I pay a heft amount to her. On top of stress and depression, I got diagnosed with multiple health problems including high cholesterol and diabetes. Life sucks for me at this point. I just wish all this gets over soon so I can focus on my health and career more.

  • csm10495@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    I wish Python was faster. It’s so easy to write code in it… but then it’s easy to get bottlenecked either in multithreaded workloads or just from weird io choices.

    Like I wrote some code to talk to LDAP using an open source lib and big queries are like 10x slower than shelling out to ldapsearch. So I like Python, but man the performance bites me sometimes.

    There are small gains being made to make it faster, but bigger ones seem to be in perpetual limbo.