becool

incredible 😂😂

So, UDP just sends it out there and anyone can intercept it?

Good advice but too smug for my taste. I give this post a C- and a downvote.

it’s time for this fad to stop. we don’t need anymore kids. we’ve got more than enough people already.

title is funnier than the img. it’s fuckin hilarious, and I’m gonna find a way to say it to someone tomorrow.

oh my god lol. perfection.

i am going to tell you some universal truths.

1. first truth: you will not fully understand these truths. though i list them here clearly, you will still learn them the hard way.

2. do not compare yourself to others. regardless of how you measure their success, you will find only a brief moment of satisfaction upon outdoing them, followed swiftly by regret, insecurity, and, not long after that, emotional crisis.

3. financial and professional success are antithetical to happiness and fulfillment at least as often as they aren’t.

4. you can only ever know yourself. everyone’s life is a series of choices. only you can know what choices are the right ones for you. you cannot know anyone else’s choices. you cannot know if anyone else is making the right or wrong choices. you cannot know what motivates others. your dataset for anyone else is so incomplete as to prevent the drawing of any good conclusions. no good reason to compare yourself to anyone. but when you do, there’s no good reason to feel bad about it, or good about it, and certainly no good reason to feel bad instead of good.

5. what follows is a cliche, but it is not a cliche: your life begins now, and now, and now. you can only do something now. not back then and not in a bit. now. really understand this. if you’re not happy now, it’s because you keep doing things that make you unhappy. now, if you’re not happy now, it’s because you’re still not doing anything to make yourself happy. what are you doing to make yourself unhappy?

6. you’re making yourself unhappy. it’s not them making you unhappy. they might be doing things you’re not happy with, but you’re the one doing unhappiness. now, if you want to bank all your happiness and fulfillment on outdoing these people, that’s fine, but it’s going to be awhile. years, decades, you’re entire life, perhaps. but, don’t forget number 2: happiness can’t be found on this route. i wonder what it would look like, what choices you’d have to make, to be happy, and much sooner?

let me know how it goes. also, apologies for the length. it’s all stream of consciousness and i’m to lazy to edit.

homework: read The Tao of Pooh

❤️

you haven’t thought this through. what if they add a “daddy” to the end of everything they say?

turning off 3 lights daddy

your payment has been processed daddy

three hours ago, central intelligence discovered that, sometime between 0230 and 0415 this morning, a rogue russian sleeper cell, acting in the president’s secret service, was activated and instructed to abduct the commander-in-chief. he was successful, and the president is missing. for the last 3 hours, we’ve been searching, and coming up with nothing. that is, until roughly 5 minutes ago, when a gps unit hidden in his suitcase began transmitting. we have pinpointed the location of the suitcase. it appears to be coming from a decommissioned missile silo in the nevada desert, located 150 miles west of the hoover dam. we know not whether the president is still with the suitcase, but he is no longer our priority. the suitcase, which is a terminal that offers it’s user complete access to every active nuclear warhead in the country, is our primary concern. as you can imagine, the president’s life is inconsequential and you will waste no time or energy to secure him. your mission is to infiltrate the decommissioned silo and retrieve the suitcase terminal. all rules of engagement are suspended, any loss of life south of a nuclear holocaust is authorized, civilian or otherwise. the case must be retrieved at all costs. we’re counting on you. daddy.

beeners f/ kbin

im a beener, ur a beener. we’re all beeners.

thirsty dog f/ president

pros:

• mega cute
• the handsomest boi
• him wuv scritches
• dookie outside
• loves to be around you
• make u do that thing where u think ur gonna explode out of your skin and u squint ur eyes real hard and your arms and fists shake and you say OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWA and he lay on his back and you scratch him belly and kind make a tent over him and try to hug him to death
• if he doesn’t like somebody, then you know they’re straight up evil

cons:

• if you say anything bad about thirsty dog i’m probably gonna slash ur tires.’

The choice is clear.