MYKONOS, GREECE—Describing it as a truly awe-inspiring sight of natural beauty, tourists told reporters Wednesday about the incredible refugee-watching tour they recently enjoyed during their trip to the Mediterranean. “At first, the guide said we might not be able to see any refugees because they’re a bit skittish around people, but soon enough we saw one in the waves for a second and then it disappeared under the water,” said Gale Preston, a visitor from Florida who remarked that watching the migration of 700 refugees fleeing persecution in their home country was absolutely breathtaking and definitely worth the wait. “I didn’t know they traveled in such big packs, and they were all in perfect sync, each one grasping onto the vessel with the same terrified expression. It was an incredible experience, all the way through to the end when their ship sank.” Preston added that when one of the refugees swam right up to the tourist boat, she really wanted to take them home with her, but the guide insisted they had to let nature take its course.
Damn, recently I felt the onion had been losing its edge or something with some of the posts I’d seen lately being plain silly. I see now they most certainly have not. I was even fortunate enough to not notice the onion until a few sentences in and my building outrage turned to confused skepticism that this must be satire.