I know this is probably a shitposting meme. And my wife and my female friend, when I asked them, both laughed and said, “Yeah all the time.” I can’t tell if it’s sarcasm.

I asked this because Im a guy, and we’ve heard it all before. The guy plowing a warm apple pie. The ookie cookie BS. The jerk off with a sock. Dudes have done some weird things. I absolutely have found myself relieving some stress in interesting ways.

But veggies: Is this a common thing? Am I going to have to worry that my daughter, when she reaches a curious age, starts exploring with vegetables?

During puberty, should I start giving my children Amazon gift cards or no questions ask money to protect my produce?

I am aware this question is ridiculous and I am prepared to be ridiculed.

  • umbrella@lemmy.ml
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    3 months ago

    to be fair the examples youve given for men are niche sorta fetishes too.

    not many people are going around fucking cookie dough either.

    • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      3 months ago

      You have misunderstood “ookie cookie.”

      Aka “Soggy Biscuit,” and “Scum Cookie” if you like the band Skinless lmao.

      Also tbf I’m like 90% sure it’s a myth or reserved for old frat hazing rituals.

    • Veneroso@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      As a man with an egg allergy, Itchy…

      Socks seem normal.

      I draw line at food. That guy with the melon was on another level.

      • hsfn@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        I always thought the sock thing was very strange. Have folks not heard of toilet paper?

        • Veneroso@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          So tp breaks up too easily. I guess maybe if you’re just catching it? Tissue is okay but it’s not really flushable. Pop the socks in the washer and reusable. Dark colors work best. Or maybe don’t wear shorts/short pants.

        • TheRedSpade@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Ya throw it in with your laundry afterward. I wouldn’t do it these days, but when I still lived with a parent and didn’t want to raise suspicions with a bunch of extra towels? Sock works just fine. Though I’ve never heard of someone actually masturbating with a sock, just for cleanup.

          • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            I always just used paper towels or napkins. Not even for cleanup just have a couple on hand and then grab em when you finish.

        • Veneroso@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          I mean you wash it. Little vinegar in there is a great fabric softener. This isn’t that guy with the Kleenex box