• Quintus@lemmy.ml
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    9 months ago

    If a person carries their trash with them until they stumble upon a trash bin they instantly have a plus in my book.

  • alt@lemmy.ml
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    9 months ago

    The simple virtue of being able to genuinely express these words; “I don’t know”, “Sorry” and “Thank you” (or any derivative of these*).

  • keepcarrot [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    I feel like everything is a green flag until a red flag pops up. Like how an open road is functionally a permission to cintinue driving.

    There are things where I get excited about a person, but even then red flags are more important. “Never admits to wrongdoing” and “Thinks kicking down a door and screaming at your partner is an appropriate response to leaving a mug in the wrong cupboard” is going to flatly be more important in a relationship than “does activism” or “is house trained”.

    That said, I don’t like arguing all the time and do organising stuff irl, so it would be nice to agree politically on a bunch of things. Responds to texts/messages and seems excited to build conversation with me.

  • MrFunnyMoustache@lemmy.ml
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    9 months ago

    There is a term in kendo called hikitate geiko. I won’t get too technical, but in essence, it is an attitude employed by a senior who spars with their junior that helps elevate their skills. It is more difficult than it appears, because if you make it too easy for them, they don’t improve, but if you make it too hard for someone, they won’t learn anything either; and at the same time, you yourself won’t benefit from the spar. By practicing good hikitate geiko, you are able to elevate your partner’s skills, but at the same time, refine and perfect your own technique.

    I find that this attitude is beautiful in every aspect of life, and isn’t easy to accomplish; I think this is a huge green flag when someone does that well, regardless of the situation or context.

    • Ms. ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml
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      9 months ago

      I do this when I play MTG or board games with people. I’m not like professional MTG good or anything but it is the kind of complex system I tend to do really well in. I want to have fun too though so a lot of times I end up trying to control the board in a way to make my opponent think about specific challenges to overcome to defeat me. Gives me something to do that isn’t obliterating them and they get to have an engaging game out of it too

      • MrFunnyMoustache@lemmy.ml
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        9 months ago

        That’s exactly it! This matches the spirit of hikitate geiko beautifully. You’re both helping your opponent understand the game better, creating opportunities for them to challenge themselves in engaging ways and helping them feel awesome while doing it, which is a great motivator to improve and play more in the future.

        Do you feel this makes you a better MTG player in general when you do it?

        • Ms. ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml
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          9 months ago

          I’d say it depends who I’m against but overall yeah. There’s always something to be learning in that game and if someone completely new to the game finds a novel way around a challenge than I’ll tuck that away in my toolbelt as well. I also have to know some really obscure parts of how things work together to orchestrate the kind of board state I’m talking about so lots of research goes into it.

          I actually do this mostly as a way to learn about new people; see how they approach problem solving and how they socially interact with me (MTG is a space I’m comfortable in so I end up talking way more than usual during play); but I have a couple close friends we mostly try and out shitpost each other with ridiculous gameplay. And then sometimes, on a rare occasion if someone is rude to me, I can take off the training wheels and use my finely tuned bullshittery to make them pick up their ball and go home lol

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      9 months ago

      This. Someone who is willing to come down to my ignorant level in a subject and reward me for my tiny effort and interest in it, is an immediate win in my book. Though it is a hard line to cross without going into smirky/mansplaining territory.

      For example, Veritasium videos are always fantastic, but I can’t get over how the man smirks when he explains concepts, despite the fact that it’s his natural smile.

      • Today@lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        I have a friend who teaches high school history and has traveled a lot. She’s great at this! I feel like i can talk to her about almost anything and she never makes me feel stupid.

    • cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world
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      9 months ago

      Somewhat related… I work at a garden center and my manager is a professor of horticulture. When I transferred to her department, I thought I would be learning so much, but this woman has no passion for teaching and is cynical about everything. She sucks the life and fun out of work. Luckily I enjoy working with my other coworkers, and everybody likes me better than they do her.

      • MrFunnyMoustache@lemmy.ml
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        9 months ago

        This really sucks, but I’m glad the other people there weren’t dragged down by the manager and remained positive people to interact with.

        • cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world
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          9 months ago

          Bit of an update… 3 out of 4 of us employed under her are planning to quit after the new year. We’re just finishing the holiday season because it’s a busy time and don’t want to bail when it’s all hands on deck right now.

          The 4th person is only part-time and we haven’t told him yet about our plans, so he may join us once he finds out.

          All of us are quitting because of the manager.

    • beevoid@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      “A person can perhaps succeed in hiding his sins from the world, he can perhaps be foolishly happy that he succeeds, or yet, a little more honest, admit that it is a deplorable weakness and cowardliness that he does not have the courage to become open-but a person cannot hide his sins from himself.” — Kierkegaard, Two Discourses at Friday Communion

  • CerealKiller01@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    I think the way people talk about themselves vs. the way they talk about others is very telling about their personality. Being positive and humble/making fun of oneself while being positive about others is a huge green flag.

  • ThePenitentOne@discuss.online
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    9 months ago

    They are self-aware, willing to change and learn, and have a rational, logical view of things. It’s rare to meet people like that, but they are by far the best people. Someone’s philosophy on life is probably the best descriptor of a person.