I am talking about love in the sense of romantic love. I am very short and ugly which makes me very unattractive. Never had a girlfriend or touched a girl. I have many girl friends but one of them was my crush but I never asked her as I knew she would never like me. I know people will say that just get successful and rich and girls will like you, but will they like me or just money. What is the point of dating then. Is there any way I will get genuine love or am I destined to live alone for life.

All the girls say they want a tall guy, I can’t grow my height, trust me I tried, I visited the doctor, I tried exercise, I tried hormones, I tried a special diet that some random YouTuber told me, I tried everything. I can’t become tall for you. I am still thinking about limb lengthening surgery, The doctor said it is very risky and very possible I could never walk, but I want to take every chance possible. Trust me I tried. As soon as I get money I am doing surgery. This was my limit I can’t go beyond that.

        • TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          6·
          5 months ago

          I think men can often get stuck in ruts where they become their own worst enemies, especially in dating. They have a plethora of media telling them half truths and skewed perspectives that create a feedback loop of negativity and self-fulfilling prophecy. Fuck, I’d be lying if I said I never had similar thoughts.

          Even if OP can’t escape that today and instead posted this to hear answers that affirm this defeatist ideology, other readers may benefit the good advice others have put in this thread.

        • TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          21·
          5 months ago

          You need to isolate the person in your head telling you this, take them out back and shoot them dead. This is a defeatist attitude and it’s simply hindering you. Not only that, it’s only superficially true. It doesn’t conform with a wider wealth of personal experiences that myself and many others certainly have.

          This. This way of thinking is your biggest enemy.

            • TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone
              18·
              5 months ago

              Naw dude, it’s manufactured and it’s limiting you. Others may participate in this manufactured concept but its still manufactured. You’re not gonna overcome that until you figure out how to destroy the part of you that believes this.

                • idiomaddict@feddit.de
                  6·
                  5 months ago

                  Is it truth that no unattractive, short man has ever had a relationship without being rich? No. That means it’s possible, which means it’s possible for you. But frankly, it’s not going to happen if you are in your own head about it.

                • DaGeek247@fedia.io
                  3·
                  5 months ago

                  The only truth here is the one you choose. There are upward of seven billion people in the world. The truth you chase is the one that becomes your reality, especially when it comes to your relationships with other people.

                  To answer your question; believing yourself to be ugly and that woman only date men taller than you is a bigger factor in your ability to find a partner than the woman who dont date short and/or nonconventionally attractive men.

            • ivanafterall@kbin.social
              10·
              5 months ago

              What would you say if I told you there are girls who actually prefer short guys? Hell, some people just like variety–I appreciate tall women, short women, medium women. I like 'em all.

              Having said that, I have met the girls you’re referencing. They do exist. A few months back, I went on a coffee date with a girl. Just before it, she made some joke about wanting to make sure I’m tall, because she hates dancing with guys who are shorter than her, so she just wanted to make sure. I wanted to vomit. I very rarely encounter a girl taller than me. I’m ~6’1, maybe pushing a little higher on a good day when my posture is okay. I want nothing to do with a girl who so values my height. Because if it’s THAT important, you’re literally one 6’3 guy away from a relationship crisis. By the way, the reason she was like that? She was taller than average. She was insecure and taking it out on everyone else. But imagine if I’d said to her, “I’m sorry, I just prefer shorter women. I find them more feminine.” Gross. She was surprised when I didn’t bother to hug her or…anything else, really…after coffee. Just got in my car and left. Whether you’re tall or short, that’s a bad match.

              There are girls who are like you say, but they are absolutely not all like that. You just need to focus on a better class of prospect.

          • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
            71·
            5 months ago

            That asshole is more deserving of age restriction than porn - if you ever hear a nephew bring him up you need to stomp that shit out immediately. What a fucking clown.

        • mrnotoriousman@kbin.social
          61·
          5 months ago

          As a short dude you couldn’t be more wrong. Get off incel forums and go talk to real people. Just make sure you shower first.

    • neptune@dmv.social
      English
      3·
      5 months ago

      Yeah I get it. If there’s not attraction, it goes no further.

      I’d suggest you get into a venue with more women and ask them (assuming this is the audience you want to woo)

      And then second: get out in the real world. Attraction as a filter works on your side IRL. Anyone who keeps talking to you is already past your looks.

      Also, have you considered a career that is associated with money?

        • ivanafterall@kbin.social
          5·
          5 months ago

          You’re giving her way too much free real estate in your head. Better to use it as fuel/a chip on your shoulder, if at all.

            • ivanafterall@kbin.social
              3·
              5 months ago

              Get in good shape, if you’re not already. “I’ll show you what I’m capable of. I’m going to find someone better.” That kind of deal. It works. That’s what I did when what I believed to be the love of my life (she called me her soul mate!) up and married some German douche. While still claiming she loved me, to boot. Better to not focus on people like that, at all, but that’s not always realistic. So if you must feel pain from it, why not decide to make it the pain of self-improvement?